ich bin ein auslander

I was wondering how long it would be before Michael Moore chimed in…. bout damn time.

Pasting it here instead of linking..

Monday, March 17, 2003

A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War

George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call “the moment of truth,” the day that “France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table.” I’m glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn’t sure if I could take much more. So I’m glad to hear that today is Truth Day, ’cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON’T FIND THEM! Why? ‘Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don’t want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans — the ones who never elected you — are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives — and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here’s what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars — the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won’t have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let’s see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What’s that you say? You don’t THINK so? Well, hey, guess what — we don’t think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn’t even have this country known as America if it weren’t for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers — Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. — spent many years in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do — tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can’t get out of.

Well, cheer up — there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you “win” the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner — and who doesn’t like to see a good ass-whoopin’ every now and then (especially when it ’s some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year’s election. Of course, that’s still a long ways away, so we’ll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows — maybe you’ll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis — they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore

Guess I was off by 48 hours. Bombs start Wednesday. Anyway… this should be interesting. The first major military conflict for the US with the internet as a viable international news source.

celebrating my dad’s birthday today. hooked him up with directv so he can no longer complain about the poor reception he’s getting from his stolen cable line. obviously, one can’t call to complain when one hasn’t been paying for it for 5 years.

anyway, did the finn’s thing last night… watched simon dj and catch the young (and not so young) girl’s eyes. no one that said they were going to show showed. not particularly suprising.

in other news, my hosting company continues to shove their heads firmly up their asses, with continued email problems, random domain drop outs, and more fun than you could shake a stick at. i guess you get what you pay for, and they are pretty cheap. generally, they’re fantastic by simply not changing or fucking anything up, in which case it all runs pretty damn well.

oh yeah - $20 says the bombs start falling on tuesday. any takers?

Well, it was supposed to just be for one or two drinks, but I ended up tying one on again last night. Ugh. I think I might go dry tonight at Finn’s. I’m feeling a bit worn around the edges. Anyway, come down to Finn’s tonight - it’s the unofficial St Patty’s day celebration and Simon’s doing the DJ honors.

So, last night… Simon’s step-brother is in town and staying at the Standard in downtown, so we headed down there for a quick drink… typical LA coolness ensued, starting with the inability to get to the upstairs bar, quickly remedied by flashing a little bit of cash and looking cool as fuck, like we do. Wendy’s red hair opens more doors than you would think. Time to do dreds again since my scalp has pretty much healed itself from the excessive damages done over the past few years. So we got our wristbands, much to the chagrin of a bunch of other people standing around waiting to get them… and up we went. Then we proceeded to drink heavily while Simon worked up the nerve to go talk to some fresh-off-the-bus girl from Ohio.

Overall, it’s a great space but not what I was expecting - having seen it done all cool in movies and various magazine layouts, seeing it in person was all very disneyland plastic. The music was shite (hall and oats and disco) and the people even worse.. but it was really fucking cool being in the middle of downtown LA, on a roof, drinking and looking at all the skyscrapers.

I think I might have even agreed to move downtown into a loft space. I’m sure I’ll hear more about that from Wendy later today.

Time for some aspirin.

Jason’s new blogrolling ping thing. If you aren’t using it yet, do so, and pay him a buck or two.